wierd day

there's nothing like getting a knock on your door at 5 in the morning, waking you up and hearing a voice firmly say "sorry to wake you up so early, but there's a tsunami that's going to hit the island". After frantically helping the boat club move some of their canioes and seeing the traffic starting to get bad on the only one lane bridge heading out of the valley I started to get worried about what this really might mean. There might be some situations where waiting in line at a packed gas station to fill up your tank might be smart in a crisis, but where is anyone going to drive to on a little island, especially when the bridges go out? I think it just shows how crazy people can get and where their priorities are. I tried to ask as many questions as I could about how bad this could really get and worst speculation I got was that all of the lower areas of the island could get covered and not only flooded, but everything wiped out. Everyone north of us had to evacuate and we thought our property would become a hotspot for the displaced, and I guess it is the designated disaster relief location on the north shore, so we began to mentally prepare for what that could entail. Many things went about as usual during the morning. We had a rummage sale at the church and them men had their weekly breakfast conversation. But my anxiety was rising and as soon as I could I went back to the house, filled up some jugs with water and sat, glued to the tv, watching intently for the first surge to hit the big island south of us.

Well nothing ever really happened. I actually stared at the tv until I fell asleep and when I woke up it seemed to all be over and the speculation was just an overestimate. I guess the big island to get about a 3 foot rise in sea level for a time and I don't know wha that entails. But overall it seems as though the islands caught a big break. Some people were pretty scared, and others seemed calm and even a little excited to see what was going to happen. Now that it's over I am wondering if that sort of a thing is like getting a tornado warning back home. Tornados are scary, but I feel like I'm more familiar with the idea and although I've never experienced one, I feel like when they do occur in the midwest there isn't this widespread panic of a huge catastrophy (I appologize for my ignorance and generalization if anyone has had more experience with tornados and disagrees with me). But what I felt here thinking that a wall of water was going to crash against the island at any moment and we might have a widespread disaster, was so different from the types of dangers that I am used to. But maybe a local resident would feel that way to be in MN when there's a tornado or thunderstorm warning.

It was a beautiful day today. It was hard to switch mindsets and get out of looming crisis mode and back into a normal state. I feel mentally exhausted. I thank God for sparing the islands and the people that could have been hurt, but I mourn and pray for those and their families who lost their lives in Chile and are still dealing with the aftermath. I feel as though I know nothing of real pain, fear and loss when I hear about such terrible events. I am so young; and I don't mean my age.

z

a couple of great experiences

This is just a picture I found online because I didn't take my camera with the other night. I couldn't have though. I went to a mens practice at the Hanalei boat club and was one of two "novices" out of 25 guys. I was the 5th seat in a 6 man outrigger canoe and I got my butt kicked in every way. I felt out of place among these tough guys who live to paddle. The other novice scored some "bad-ass" points with his tattoos, but I had nothing to elevate my status as the week link among this group of hardcores who were gearing up for their race on the west side that weekend. The first 10 minutes we paddled up and down the river a bit as I worked on my form and rythym and right as I was going to start internally complaining about my arms being tired already apparently someone yelled a command that I didn't understand and all 4 six man boatsbegan racing up and down the river and working on various sprints and start up routines that never gave me more than a moment to lower my shoulder for a rest. After two hours I think my arms were stiffer then the paddle and I couldn't beleive that I survived the practice. But splitting a nice tall dark beer with the other novice afterword made me feel like I accomplished something to be proud of and I started to look forward to a good night's rest and a relaxing day in the morning. Until I remembered what we were doing in the morning.

Our new friend, Dick, took us on a five hour kayak trip up the Wailua river to hike to secret falls. I thought the paddling would kill me after the previous night but the difference in technique and purpose of the kayak trip actually did end up being relxing and loosening up my shoulders a bit. We had a great time. A rope swing into ice cold water is one of those things that you just have to do if you get the chance; for me anyway.

we are very blessed to be here and to have people to take us to do such cool stuff. Check out other pictures at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2045852&id=110901060&l=8b159e0646

z

it used to be so simple

I miss the days when my brain was incapable of thinking about all of life's stressful complexities. Lately I've felt overwhelmed by all sorts of contradictions and seemingly impossible scenerios.

like learning first hand about a church denomination that is hostile to the one that I was raised in..

like discussing and debating where christians should stand on current issues likes gay marriage rights, economics and social justice..

like hearing someone say "that's a surfer hang out but you can't go there because you're white" and processing what that feels like..

like seeing what's left of a beautiful island and learning about it's culture/history and then thinking about what american business and government has done to it..

like hearing someone give opinions that I usually don't agree with but not knowing how to respond or deciding that I'd just rather hear them out and think it over instead of try to debate something that I probably know very little about..

like having a dream come true and living on a tropical island but only wanting to be with my friends back home..

like feeling like a take my wife for granted and being a boring jerk instead of a loving husband..

like finding out a meaningful worship song that I wanted to lead a congregation in was written as part of a big scandel..

like trying to overcome the dilemma of wanting to love or befriend someone even if my head is telling me there are so many practical reasons to keep my distance because they do or think or represent something that I think it wrong..

like having to think about all of my friends and family and craving to be with them, talk to them, or write to them but deciding that it's too much work and I can't tell them all everything that I want to..

like talking with someone who's studied 13 different languages and is fluent in 5 of them, but realizing at this point in my life such a wonderful feat is impossible..

like feeling that warm feeling inside every time my wife smiles when she sees a baby or a child and then sharp pain of having to ask her to wait longer because I think we should save more money or I should go back to school..

like working on houses with friends and realizing that I remember such a tiny fraction of what my dad taught me about construction and carpentry and wishing I had another chance to learn from him..

like trying to sing and write songs but my voices squeaking and straining and my mind drawing a blank..

like feeling that I could go on and on but not wanting to aggrivate whoever decided to read this and just leaving the rest unsaid..

z

what I miss..

can't wait to come home fellas

z

oooh I am not quite sleeping....

And so... We have not blogged for quite some time now. I guess lately it seems that everything has been "the same" to me-- The garden, the food pantry, church, music, Bible study, the beach.... Today we DID do something a little bit different. One of the pastor's from the UCC took us to a middle school in Waimea where he does a Bible study over the student's lunch hour. It was fun to see what the schools are like here compared with MN (the only part that was indoors was the actual classroom). Then we drove up to Kokee and saw Waimea Canyon (the grand canyon of the Pacific as they call it) and also drove to see Kalalau-- a beautiful enclosed valley that you can only get to by hike, boat or helicopter and where many of our friends from the food pantry call home. We also enjoyed the most delicious peice of coconut pie at the lodge at Kokee which was freshly made, with a thick layer of decadently melted chocolate at the bottom, and topped with crunchy mac nuts, still warm and topped with real whipped cream. MMMMmmm. I could go for another slice right now.

We had some okay weather today....

After a morning of hard work, Glenn and Mary offered us their car- so we headed to Hanalei Bay (Zach went for the waves, I went for the sun and a nap). I thought that Zach invented this, apparently they have something that they call a "skim board" that they use to do this-- but he just uses a boogie board. Either way, he is pretty good at it. He uses the board to sort of skate board across the water just as it washes up on the shore. Our friends Scott and Ruth ( my best friend's parents from back home) picked us up today and we ventured to a beach, which I later found out was called Lumahi- a beautiful, but potentially very dangerous beach. We had a blast hanging out with Scott and Ruth and seeing them while they are here. It was nice to see some familar faces from home. We also had lunch with them, and went to Hanalei Bay. Tonight we had dinner with Wayne and Dianna, their son Nick and his friend Tony who are our age. They are the couple who picked us up from the airport who are from Bagley (near where Zach is from). It was nice to have another taste of home talking with some MN folks :)